I’ll be happy when…
Have you heard of “I’ll be happy when” syndrome? It is something that probably all of us have been guilty of at some point and it happens when you think that you will be happier when something external and in the future occurs.
I will be happy when I get that dream job.
I will be happy when I get that relationship.
I will be happy when I lose weight.
I will be happy when I start making a certain amount of money.
I will be happy when I buy that house.
And so on…
There are a number of problems with this line of thinking. First, research has shown that even when we do get “the thing,” it brings a temporary rush of joy but then it quickly fades. And only 10% of our happiness is due to external circumstances.
Also what happens if you don’t get that thing? Are you just going to be unhappy forever? It makes your happiness conditional and makes it so you cannot be happy now in the moment because you don’t yet have the thing. This also causes a lot of fear and pressure to get that thing. Yet, maybe your goals change and you no longer want it, or there is some greater possibility that you aren’t yet aware of.
Finally, it causes you to be on a never ending search for more and more. You get the job but then you want more money. You get the house but then you want a bigger house with a bigger yard. It will never end and you will always be on the search for the next thing that will finally bring you the happiness that you are searching for.
But here is the thing - happiness will come in the present moment, not in constantly striving for what you don’t have.
Enjoy the moment and learn to be more present. It definitely does not mean that you shouldn’t have goals or strive for more, but it does mean to stop tying your happiness to some future, external goal that may or may not happen and may or may not actually bring you happiness. Life is a journey, there is no arriving. Be grateful for this moment and be open to the possibilities.
