My Secrets to Staying Calm and Grounded
Since I moved to New York I have been getting a lot of “you are so California” comments. And while I think the blonde hair has something to do with it, the follow-up comments are usually around the fact that I generally have a calm and grounded energy.
But the truth of the matter is that I am not calm and grounded because I am from California, it is because of the practices that I have implemented and am committed to on a daily basis. Also here is a little secret, technically I am not even really from California, I grew up in Boston!
So what are those practices? They are pretty simple (not easy, but simple) and the most important thing is that I am consistent with them. Try mine out and add some of your own, but I encourage you to figure out what practices help you maintain your center and stay grounded. And then you too can get told how California you are :)
Movement. Exercise is my number one stress relief practice and a big priority for me. I truly never regret a workout and it always makes me feel less stressed, happier, and puts me in a better mood. This isn’t even mentioning all the overall health benefits that exercise has - it boosts your metabolism, lowers blood pressure, protects your heart, boosts brain health, increases bone health, if there was a magic pill for health, exercise would be it. Find a workout that you enjoy and stick with it. I promise you that you will not regret it.
Solo time. I enjoy doing lots of different things and social activities, but I try to always balance that with some quiet, solo time. Taking some time alone allows me to recharge, engage in some self-reflection, and let my brain just process and wander. One of my favorite things to do is to use any travel time as quiet, solo time. I avoid buying the wifi and will often just turn on my music and let my brain think and daydream. Taking long walks outside by myself is another extremely restorative practice. No matter how extroverted or social you are, carve out some time to be with yourself.
Meditation. Meditation is a powerful tool and it is a practice that has helped me in a number of different ways. It helps to increase self-awareness, gain new awareness of a situation, focus on the present, increase creativity, and increase patience, as well as the physical benefits of lowering your heart rate and helping with sleep quality. For me, it has also taught me how to prioritize and make time for the things that I know have long term benefits. It is truly remarkable what a difference breathing deeply for a few minutes can make.
Journaling. Journaling was something I picked up during the pandemic and it is shocking to me that I wasn’t doing it regularly before then. I follow a very simple journaling practice - every morning, right when I wake up, I just write down three pages of whatever is on my mind. It helps me clear my mind and process everything that is going on.
Outside support. I work with a coach and have found it to be extremely beneficial. She helps me process things and gives me an outside perspective on what I have going on. Friends are great and I often talk to my friends about big, important things, but it is also really nice to have someone who isn’t a regular part of your life to talk to and who is trained to provide advice and support. I encourage you to seek out a coach or therapist or group who provides a safe place where you can discuss anything and everything and feel supported and held.
Perspective. Faith has always been a part of my life in some fashion and while it has definitely evolved over the years, I have always held to the belief that there is something out there bigger than me and I think that this has impacted so much of how I approach my life. It helps me put things in perspective and believe that things are always conspiring in my favor. Whether you follow a specific religion or consider yourself spiritual, there is so much research out there on how having faith positively influences a person’s life and I encourage you to find a practice that works for you.
