Lessons from my dad
This week’s blog is a little different (and a little longer). My dad retired this week after an over 40 year career in business that started with a training program at GE and ended with a 22 year run as CEO of Pebble Beach Company.
He was never shy about sharing his wisdom and lessons with me and my brother. Even though I majored in business at Notre Dame and have my MBA, I can say that most of what I have learned about business and being a leader has come from listening to, watching, and even working for my dad. Below I am sharing some of the top lessons I learned from my dad. Hope that you find some wisdom in them as well.
Work hard – This is probably the biggest lesson that I learned from my dad. He loved to say that he was not going to be the smartest person in the room, but there was never anyone who was going to outwork him. While I may not have slept under my desk like he did a few times, I have learned the value of working hard, and that to be truly great at something, it is going to require some sacrifice and hard work.
Keep improving – One of my dad’s favorite questions is “how did you better yourself today?” From an early age, I learned about the importance of doing something each day to make yourself a little better – whether that was reading an interesting article, exercising, learning something new, or working on a creative project.
Be proud of where you came from – My dad grew up in one of the poorest cities in New England and had a pretty rough childhood. But he always told his story proudly and would take our family back to his neighborhood every time we were in the area. He and my mom also continue to give back to the communities and people that shaped them.
Don’t be afraid to ask the stupid question – I saw this lesson up close when I spent a few years working for my dad’s company and had multiple meetings with him. There were times when he would ask a question that I thought had a blatantly obvious answer, and sometimes the answer would be simple, and the meeting would move on. But sometimes (surprisingly often), that question would lead to more questions, digging deeper, and important conversations and decisions.
Form genuine connections – When building your career, it can be easy to get caught up in networking and viewing relationships through a transactional, what can you do for me lens. But from my dad, I have learned the value of forming real, genuine connections with people at all different levels. This was evident to me when he announced his retirement and people from all walks of life and from different stages of his career reached out with well wishes. Taking the time to form a real connection with someone will bring so much more to your life beyond a simple networking relationship.
Be yourself – If you know my dad, you know that there is a different side to him than the serious businessman that he usually portrays in business settings. And over the years, I have seen him bring all sides of his personality to the office. From dancing on stage at employee meetings, to dressing up at Halloween and handing out candy, my dad was never afraid to be himself and showing these unique aspects of his personality helped him to be successful in his own way.
Go with your gut – Oftentimes when making a difficult decision (or even a not so difficult decision), we can get caught up in analyzing all possible outcomes and asking others for their opinions. I have learned from my dad that while it is important to consider other opinions and look at possible outcomes, at the end of the day, you have to go with your gut and do what you think is best, even if the popular opinion is to do something else.
Enjoy the ride – Working hard and being successful are not going to mean very much if you do not enjoy the ride and have some fun along the way. Watching my dad throughout his career, I have seen him take the time to enjoy the journey - whether that was laughing with a colleague in the office, enjoying some of the cool things that his job allowed him to do, or sharing successes with the rest of our family.
Surround yourself with good people – Throughout my dad’s career, he has been lucky enough to be surrounded by a number of very good people – people who both helped him in the workplace, and also became like family outside the office. Our entire family has benefitted from the relationships made through my dad’s work and the amazing people he has been fortunate to work with.
You don’t have to be a jerk to be successful – A family friend recently said this when talking about my dad and a few other businesspeople. There is a stereotype that in order to be successful, especially in the business world, you have to be ruthless and a jerk. But that is just not true. You have to make hard decisions and you will inevitably make some people angry, but you do not have to be a jerk. In fact, as my dad has shown me, being a good and caring person will make you a better, more compassionate leader.
Do the right thing – My dad had to navigate a number of horrible and stressful events while he was CEO and each time, when he had to make very difficult decisions, I saw him try to do the right thing. That often meant eschewing the easy thing to do the hard thing. And remembering that every decision impacts people. While not every decision is going to be 100% correct in hindsight, I have learned that you will still be able to feel proud of trying to do the right thing.
Marry the right person – This one might be last, but I am pretty sure my dad would say it is the most important lesson. He has said countless times that he would not be anywhere without my mom and has shown me the importance of marrying the right person. The person who will challenge you and push you to be your best and take the risk, but also the person who will support you and be there when some of those risks don’t work out. I have seen firsthand the power of having a true partner by your side throughout the ups and downs.
