Lessons from My Mom
My mom is usually the first person I call when I need an opinion on something - whether it is what to wear to an event or if I should make a big life change such as starting my own business. I am lucky that my mom and I have such a strong relationship, but a mother does not just have to be your biological mother. It can be anyone who has had a positive influence on your life and it can look many different ways.
I have had a number of strong women and role models throughout my life. Ones who have offered advice, supported my (sometimes unconventional) choices, and never hesitated to be there when I needed something. I know many of them are reading this post and am thankful for all of the continued support.
I have learned so much from all of these women and my mom in particular, and below I am sharing some of the biggest lessons I have learned from my mom. I hope that you can find some helpful nuggets in there and please share the biggest lessons you have learned from your mom and the influential mother figures in your life!
Do good. If there is one thing that people will uniformly say about my mom it is that she does so much good in the community. Volunteering and giving back is a core value for my mom and it has definitely been passed down to me and my brother. I cannot think of a time when my mom hasn’t been actively involved in causes she is passionate about and making a difference in her community. I have seen firsthand how rewarding and important it is to give back and it is something that I have strived to continue throughout my life.
Be generous. In addition to giving back to the community and doing good in the world, I have also learned a generosity of spirit from my mom. Whether it is sending care packages to me, my friends, and my friends’ friends throughout college, being the ultimate hostess when people visit, or giving the most thoughtful gifts and cards to people, my mom never hesitates to go over and beyond for the people in her life. I know how much these touches mean to people and try to emulate that generous spirit in my own life.
Do the annoying thing for people you love. It is easy to show up for the people we love when it is convenient, but showing up when it is inconvenient is what really matters. I have seen my mom do things for the rest of our family when it was wildly inconvenient. Flying across the country to help us move into our various apartments, answering the phone to just chat as we walk, providing input on numerous potential outfits, my mom has always done the inconvenient thing for the people she loves. She has shown me time and time again how important it is to do the annoying thing for the people we care about.
Advocate for yourself. One of the sayings that my mom loves to tell me and my brother, as well as the many people she mentors, is that you have to advocate for yourself. No one else is going to do it for you and it is important to speak up and use your voice. Whether it is in relationships, at work, or just in everyday interactions, it is necessary to advocate for yourself and (nicely) speak up in order to communicate and get what you want.
Creativity beats fancy. I have always said that my brother and I had one of the best childhoods. It wasn’t overly glamorous but I truly can’t imagine a happier or more fun way to grow up. My mom was always planning creative and fun things for us to do. Two of my favorite moments were my artist birthday party in our backyard and making a homemade slip and slide on our porch with my cousins. There was nothing extravagant about any of that, but they are cherished memories. Even today, my mom is often planning some creative activity for the children she teaches that usually leaves the kids talking about it for weeks (and the classroom a mess). Spending the time to get creative and create something memorable is worth the effort and doesn’t have to cost a lot of money.
Give the people you care about the gift of honesty. I know that if I want a real and honest opinion, then I should ask my mom. As she always says, “if I won’t tell you, then who will?” While it may not always be what I want to hear, I know that she has my best interests at heart and there is usually something I can take away from the conversation (even though I don’t always agree or listen). It can be valuable to nicely give the people you care about the gift of your honest opinion.
Treat everyone with kindness. My mom treats everyone with kindness and respect and as a result, usually makes friends everywhere she goes. Running errands takes her twice as long as she inquires about people’s families and all the latest happenings in everyone's lives. This is something that has been passed down to both me and my brother, and I always strive to be genuinely interested in everyone I interact with and treat them with kindness and respect. It has definitely enriched my life and led to many unexpected connections.
Be you. Not everyone is going to vibe with you and that is okay. My mom is always herself and doesn’t worry too much about changing for other people. I have learned how valuable it is to just be yourself and not concern yourself with the opinions of others.
